Tight

So I keep my eyes wide open...

just for you; searching the horizon

the response is just as good as if i had my eyes closed...

stretching my arms out to reach to you

and all I feel is the air

I've come to the conclusion though

that I can only find you when my eyes are closed

and when I'm at my most vulnerable point

sleeping.

That's where I look to the horizon

and see you

and with arms reached out; hug you

and in my imagination

I love you

so if I ever do meet you...

and my eyes are open,

it will be like a dream come true

Watch what you Create

You're going to have me be behind
Once I'm let go this world
its going to be new to me
For now you can hold on,
but let the changes appear
You did bring me into this world
this huge diverse world
but, you can't create a world for me
especially if I don't want to live in it
I've needed protection before
I had no clue where to turn
a mistake I made
you helped me clear it up
Now i put up my own shield
I'm aware of where I am
and if I make a mistake
I know how to except it
So, stop trying to hide me from this world
let me step out of the small space you had me in
under your protection, your guide
I've actually made a small escape,
you could say, they would say
I've made my own choice
to fall in love.
Then they caught on recently
but this time I chose not to hide it
I'm done masking something beautiful in my life
this time I'm telling them how it's going to be;
if they are going to try and change it
so this is when they should realize
its time to take up the wall separating me
from the real world
and this time
I won't cave in to any of their adjustments
this time they'll have to adjust
to my choice

Scare

Scared...
hm. yes. yes i am.
am I now hollow inside?
Am I empty...?
whispers turn into screams
echos end short
and breaths grow heavy
and then stop
heart beats grow faster
and paces go slower
and mean while everything is getting weaker
look around
why don't I know what's happening
What I caused and what had occured
are two different results
no one is following this
neither am I
confused, lost, and worried
fix me, end it, and save a life
who knows... mine might be ending soon
and who knows-
it might have not even begun

Guilty- was it worth the laugh?

All of you should feel guilty
EVERYONE right now should feel guilty
all of you claim to be against bullying
you wear the color to represent you are against bullying
pardon my french but BULLSHIT!

All of you are guilty of one thing
making fun of an innocent girl
who was clueless to your cruel
HURTFUL inside joke.
All of you participated in it...

I don't care if you hate her with a fiery burning passion-
there's no excuse for that MEAN action
of a joke.... it wasn't funny though
the thing is you are all sorry
because she realized
the other day that she was the subject of the joke
YOU were not laughing with her
YOU were laughing at her

There I am feeling so bad for her
I was oblivious to the whole situaution
she told me she figured it out on her own
don't go pointing fingers

the pain in her face
the holding back of her tears
the redness of her eyes
some how managed my tears to surface
she was so strong
if I were in her situation I promise...
I COULDN'T be as nearly as strong as her

People were not just MEAN
they said HORRIBLE things
placing her name in code
talking about HER in front of HER
thinking this name was imaginary...
but to all of you it was code, huh?

Well on her face she wears tears
her mind wanders with curiosity trying to figure
out what she did to deserve hatred everyday?
From people she thought was her friends

What do you wear on your face?
shame?
What do you bare on your shoulders?
regret.... REGRET that you got caught
you all should feel embaressed....
I thank God - I never participated in this joke-
I'd be so disappointed
knowing
I caused an innocent girl pain....
was it worth the laugh?

By the way...
she told me-
she forgives you all.

It angers me that I'm associated with some of you...
think about that

Love is a game?

Well in a movie the other night
I heard them say how 'life' isn't a game
YES! YES - it is!
Well....
atleast L.O.V.E. is?

I'll explain
when I say life is a game
I don't me be a playa (if you were thinking that- think again!)

I mean its like hide and seek
Love hides
we search for it
and we eventually (hopefully) find it

Then it turns into tag
You see it
and you run after it...

Hey! Guess what?
You're it <3

Absense

You were there for the first month
then you started this streak of tardies...
and soon enough you became absent over and over again
it goes on your record, you know?

Well if you are absent a lot
you miss a lot,
you were missing a lot of me
what I was saying
and if youre absent
I guess I wasn't important enough for
you to attend

but this boy on the other
hand
well I KNOW he cares about me...
and I know i care about him
so
don't try to show up now
because I'll I'm going to do
is dismiss you
I'm sorry
but
you can't make up your absesnses

Walk Away

.... and after all this time
you lied

and after all this time
you said you didn't love me

and after all this time
I'm so sorry
but I no longer love you....

You told her your new relationship
is like taking a 'walk away' from me
no matter how hard you try
you'd always end up at the starting point.

You told her seeing me
be happy with him
made you go home and punch a wall
just so maybe the pain would make you forget me
the pain only reminded you of me instead, huh?

You told him you never said anything about
him, or me, or what we might be
you never said anything, huh?
only that you had a bad feeling
and that I was replacing you

I can't replace something that isn't there
.... its not there anymore....
and I'm sorry
but i don't think it will ever be there again
just walk away
and don't look back

When I die

When I die

I don’t need to be know; famous

My name doesn’t

Have to be recognized by the world.

I don’t

Need to be talked about on

history book pages.

When people I knew

Look back

I want them to smile

at the memories.

I hope before I die

I can bring some beauty

into this hideous world.

I don’t need to be known

But, I want to have

Lived my life for a purpose.

Before I die

I want to have love

And I want that love

to have been reciprocated.

When I die…

My name doesn’t have to be recognized

 

Copy, Cut, and Paste

Stop. Right there.
Silence.
You're looking at me
Your hand holding my wrist.
we've reached eye contact
pause. freeze.
i want to save this moment.
I'll look back to this

First moment,
copied, cut, and paste
copied from the world
cut it, the moment over
but its pasted in my mind.

Stop. Pause. Continue.
Speak now... repeat
record
I can go over my day and hear your
sweet words now.

Shh. be quiet.
Let me put my ear to your chest...
let me pace your breaths
and i'll adjust mine to match.
I want to know your heartbeat

Reassurance.
Please blink,
and I want to know
if when your eyes open
if your gaze will change to somewhere else
or if your eyes will still be on me.
focus

My side

Rarely
Do people ask me for my side of a story
Then again,
Rarely
Do people need my side of the story
 He asked for my side of the story
But
Since he asked
That means he might have thought
There was some truth
To the lie filled one.
 But he can’t know my past actions
If he doesn’t know my full story…
 So I prepare
Prepare to open up
And expose my interior
I prepare to tell him the secrets
That only I know
 There isn’t going to be any secrets between
Him and I anymore
Because; eventually
I hope we’ll love each other
 And if he loves me…
I want him to love me for everything and anything I am
And to do that
He needs to know;
He needs to know me
 I hope he likes it
I hope he likes my life…
 Because it’s a life;
soon not to be a secret

You look, I look

You look, I look
everyones opinion was different about
my view on this world for a long time.

then i met him
and i felt as if I was  meant
to know him

He said the words I would have spoken
He knew the interior before was I had opened up;
because he had experienced it before...

all the pain
the anger
the tears
over all the heart
the heart that had been
FIXED the BROKEN then FIXED again...

and well, as he spoke a few words to me
I felt as if for once.... maybe something is meant to happen?
I don't know...
I DO care..

He's different, that's for sure
he seems as if he may be that boy in the dream-
the one that tries to bring beauty into this hideous world
I wouldn't be shocked if that's him

Time Period

This world;
I hate to say it -
but its going to hell

this time period
is so advanced
its hard to compete

and the things we are building
the technology
is better than us
we created something bigger than us

I'd like myself better,
if I was born into the correct time period
maybe i belong in the past?
Where it would be old fashioned
more modesty
and when songs were descent
and weren't including getting high
or having sex

maybe I'd like myself better
in the future
where no one was lesser than anyone else
and all the low life creeps
wouldn't live in it
(survival of the fitest, sweetheart)

maybe I'd like myself better
if there were more people
that didn't think they were judges
because the people
born in this time period
are the people who make it suck

no one's perfect; don't need to
tell me that twice
but maybe the life i'm living would be better...
maybe this time period would be better
if every person took a minute to think
am I making someone else's life harder to live?

If the answer's yes -
how about you change that?

Its all I want

Its all I want
Its all I had
Its all I lost
It all I have to gain
Its love

love
the thing he doesn't believe in
the romance
the seriousness
its all i crave
love

no one can understand
or comprehend
or even break it down
to their knowledge

to know how bad
I want him
to give me a kiss
it can be as awkward as he likes
just a peck
even if he actually misses
my mouth
I'd love that he attempted

I don't need anything
you know... sexual?
(HAHA i felt awkward typing that)

I just want someone to
love
kiss
and cuddle :)
seriously....

Its all i want - the love
Its all I had - the love
Its all i lost - the love
and all i have to gain is love

I want all of his awkwardness
I want his odd thoughts
I want his personality
I want him...
Its all I want

I'm going to convince him

So I've been talking to this boy
And he's been giving me the butterflies
And I love it

But I need to convince him that there is such a thing as love
... Because he doesn't believe in it

But like I'm really serious about convincing him
And I don't know why....
But like he's totally worth my time
I love talking to him

And I have the sense that there is
So much more complexity to him
Than he's letting on

Do I want him to believe in love?
Because I want him to love me?
Do I want him to believe in love?
So that I can love him...
Or
Do I want him to believe in love?
Because he deserves to have love in his life

I don't know him all that well
To be honest
But he is someone I want to know
I don't really know if there's a little
Hint of affection between us
Or if I just admire his words
I have a hard time telling the difference
Because I romanticize everything

I'm going to convince him
That he can love
I don't know how
And I don't know when
But I will try
And I hope
I will succeed

I love talking to him
I love the butterflies

BLAH

I'm sick...
So I'm VERY sick at home not allowed
to go back to school until Friday -.-
and i have pnemonia, bronchitus
severe sinus infection,
 and double ear infection

and I'm laying half- dead on my couch
(yesterday I was in the hosptial)
and all I can do is stay in bed
eat oatmeal
and drink hot chocolate
or atleast thats all I'm chosing to do

so I decide to go on the internet
and im just browsing the internet
and see a gross disturbing add
which makes my stomach turn
so I log off

then I'm trying to
figure out how to use my new inhaler
cus of my bronchitus and pnemoia
yeah, I'm pretty sure I over dosed on that

then my stupid nose spray
made me sneeze for like five minutes straight

my pill is so big
I could choke on it

but anyways I just wanted to complain
and I hope no one wasted their time reading this...
but if you did
you are a good person
but you need to get a life
HAHAHA

Little Girl

Oh darling, oh little girl
why do you feel so lonely in this large world
little girl yet you are here
your actions make things unclear
your appearance
still young
but your actions are younger
turn around and talk no truth
maybe intentionally so I can hear
but little girl its not me but you who is lost in this large world

for you are the one who is immature
talking about me like I have no clue
but the point of this is
you must not have anything better to do
so I don't mind, entertain yourself
and claim things of false to be true
but just no when you turn around to talk
know that karma will switch on you

Lost Cause

Not going to fight this
insanely wonderful-overwhelming- tingle
I feel in my blood, in my body,
in my soul when you are around

how you look at me with the look of
I know you are going to tell me so just tell me already!
Gives me a smile on my face that I can't resist

and when you look at me and your pupils enlarge
my eyes get locked on yours
and I can't look away until your stare diminishes

And when you smile
I can't help but be happy
in every possible way

And when you sing
although you think you sound bad
I wish you were singing to me
and I tell you to stop
(because I know you're not singing to me)

So I'm just this lost cause
and there's no cure
for the broken heart
shattered heart
that I will eventually receive
but until then
I live on hope, I live on faith
I live on my dreams
I live off of the prayers
that maybe one day
I won't be lost anymore
and maybe one day
I'll be more reassured that
I won't be a lost cause
and may be
you will find me

My letter

Dear __________,
Why is it that I try to convince myself of this one lie repeatedly over and over again: That I care affectionately for you no longer. I believe I do it for both of us, maybe so i don't cause problems in your life, or so I don't appear pathetic, or maybe because I'm scared of the fact that since October 17 I fell hopelessly for you. and since November 1 I fell in love with you. Maybe that's why. Maybe I'm scared because I'm younger. Maybe I'm too hopeful for this beautiful yet hateful world we are living in. You imtimidated me because I felt important to someone outside of my family.I felt loved, REALLY loved for the first time... and I reciprocated that. I never had loved anyone - ever. Maybe my life was just going away... really and once I left I didn't want you to feel as if you had to hold on or wait for me to return, because someone else deserves your love - and you deserve more love than anyone i know. Maybe i have a secret, that no one knows and I didn't know if you were going to be drawn in, and I cared too much to allow that to happen to you. maybe I felt awful that I wasn't as good as you. Maybe I was afraid of your views, of your free spirit. How you made me feel like I was on top of the world. All these feelings were good. too good. and it threw me off, because it was the best it had ever been. But I just want to tell you, no matter what, no matter who in this world tries to interfere, or how many times people tell me no, I'll know only you can affect my future... but no one can affect my past. And all i know know, is that I want to love you forever grow old with you and die with you.

My romanticized world

I'll allow something happy inside
I'll put up a wall to keep out the darkness
I need to shine...

I need to feel the warmth
get away from the coldness

I need to allow my heart to feel bliss
my soul to be free
escape this world
and create a romanticized world

one where every one's purpose is known
and everyone believes in themselves
self- esteem isn't a problem
where everyone believes in true love
hatred is rarely found
currency is forgotten
and stereotypes disappear
everything happens for a reason
people think positive
every one's excepted
every one's loved
every one's included
and where dream's really do come true

... but this world doesn't exist
but as soon as I close my blue eyes
and every time I fall asleep
this is the place where i can let my guard down

this is the place that i can feel blissfully happy
along with everyone surrounding me
and this may be my silly youthful romanticized world

... but wouldn't you care to join me?

Traffic

We see traffic
coming up ahead
Turn on the news
Its all the talk
the 'accident'

We're gonna need patience
to make it past this
its gonna take some time

i'm sure neither one of them wanted the cost
but now
all that is left to do
is fix it
let's not have a hit and run

and she's gonna tell you
to drive up on the break down lane
cut through, its easier
and she's gonna say I'm a road block in the way
and she's going to try to find a detour for you
but little does she know
lifes a one way street
with a dead end
leading you to me

So let's go back to what she was saying
the choice  may be easier and tempting
but sure...
is it worth the regret of a ticket in the end?
Trust me
someone will pull you over in the end
and make sure you're sober
because of your stupid decision...

because let's face it
she's not better than me

.... but then there's always time
to take a U-TURN
and come back around

once a lady

looking in the mirror
angry at the tears
that I allowed myself to cry
why
does it always seem to catch up with me now
I was ahead of the game not to long ago

but now I'm falling behind
get off the track
take some time

to let the tears roll down
let the love shine
in
if theres any left

Stupid boy
you don't love at all
so don't claim you have it with me

confused boy why you bringing me down with you?
i'm a second choice - and I refuse

lets the tears roll down
lets my thoughts of you
leave
go away
with the rest of the pain you caused me

and I hope life gives you hell
as payback as to what you did to me

my guard was down
broken - heartened girl
searching for anyone to love her

not gonna settle for less
not gonna settle for you
i'm not a second choice i refuse

once a lady
broken down to a girl
helpless
in this lying world

so let the tears roll down
let the sun shine in
once a lady
broken down to a girl
im growing up again

*** this i a song i wrote***

Promises are being kept a secret

Promises;
promises...
how i define it :
a commitment one puts on him/heself for all eternity

this definition should be changed
no one keeps a promise for all eternity,
at least not an important one

and in this world we live off of promises
as one can imagine
one can make soemones day
but promises are seldom and rarely kept,
which isn't usually bothersome
unless the most important thing to you
was a promise...

and I'll remember when the promise took place
where it took place
and how it was brought up
but
i'll remember just as clearly
as to how that promise, that dream
was shattered into a million lies

and I'll remember how I swore never to let anyone
promise me anything ever again like that
or how i relied on that promise
or how I saw the world differently after you said that,
and after you swore you meant that

this promise
these promises
are all covering the
secrets of reality
that promises are going to be broken
and sure no one should break a promise...
but who's going to stop it from happening?
Promises, are being kept a secret

go ahead

go ahead
and live your life
make yourself happy
please?
anything you want
anything you need
i'm here
i'll help

so i deserved it
deserved the lonliness
the cruelness
notice* how i said deserved
past tense.

I don't anymore
i deserve love right now
and everyone's trying to
give it to me
and I won't except it from anyone
but you
so until you love me again for atleast
two seconds
I'm incapable of loving anyone else

so i deserved the lonliness
the cruelness

but this torture
is slowly killing me
this torture
is murder

it was perfect

So i can officially stand up for myself
and decide to not let him play me
because I'm not an instrument
or a video game, or a sport
so no - i refused to be played

So today
let's just say
i got hooked on some one else :)

Haha life is soo good :)
ok i'm to gittery to type soo
i'm gonna go now
love you <333
vye ;)

HACKED!

Hi everybody! Umm...this isn't d.m.j. this time..well because she's been hacked. She's over my house right now so I decided to post this. Oh btw this is d.m.j.'s AMAZING friend o.m.d. 
Hi its d.m.j.'s sister! im d.t.j. ......teehee anyways dmj hides her deepest darkest secret in here b/c she basically lives in a fairy tale/soap opera world......and i WILL find her secrets!! "its a life its a secret" what are you hannah montanna????? but i love you<3333333333
So right now we're playing dress-up because that's what girls do at sleepovers (just incase there are any guys on here wondering.) Pretty soon we're moving onto prank calls...the normal sleepover fun...
my turn! ok anyways i want to wish everyone a happy martin luther king jr. day!!!!! and yes we dont go to school cuz someone "had a dream".....prank calls r so much fun especially when u preten to work at victorias secret  and u want to know if they ordered a miracle bra or bombshell......u should try it ........ALSO i want to mention tht  d.t.j is awesome!!!!!
Of course she is!!!  So to add onto the whole prank dial topic, it's also fun to pretend to be a business who takes people's organs at random times at night. And now...I'm just typing random stuff because I've noticed that d.t.j. writes a lot more than I do. I want to run a kind of quote by you people:
Dream it.
Live it.
Love it.
Well...I guess that's it. Bye guys!

The past

Have you ever just sat?
Sat in a dark room
no electronics
no noise
but with utter silence

it's odd
the only thing that interrupts this peaceful silence
is your thoughts

the thoughts that you don't want to think of
the 'what if's...'
start creeping into your mind
bringing you to a past
that you would like to stay in the past

you try to not think of the
should've
could've
would've
but in the silence
in that past
that's all you can think of
the regret, and the change you could've made to it
and people rarely congratulate themselves for their past...

and I have a past.
not a bad one, honest
just some times -
a young one.... because of some foolish mistakes
that obviously could've been avoided

and we all know
that just looking at the past
changes nothing
while sitting in a dark room
(but why do we do it?)

So how about we go into the light
and instead of thinking abouit the past
how about we decide to change it
take some action, change our bad decisions

So how about we go into the light
and change ourselves...

Something New... that was once there

Something New
He made me feel a lot
obviously
never knew what it felt to feel so much until i met him...

i always vent to him and
seem to always appear sad over the phone
or over texting, or somehow ready to give up on life
and I always know he's going to still be there for me
(because honestly, he's that great as a person)
but honestly why do i burden him with this
i mean, he is the only one who cares
but he doesn't need to listen to this -
i don't want to deal with it and its me...
why would he want to hear it?
But I kind of want him to be like SHUT UP
I DON'T WANT TO HERE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS
but nah. he's to great to do that...

But, still I'm not going to bring people into my sad time era right now
I'm just going to stay in it until some one who cares enough pulls me back out
I'm not going to 'reach out' for some one to help anymore
(some people build up walls not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to knock them down)

Today I felt real again
appreciated
i realized how much people really do confide in me
even with me barely knowing them
a girl I just started talking to a week ago
will vent out to me her deepest secrets
and a boy will ask me for advice
and a girl I haven't talked to in about two years
will approach me and start off where we last left off
so
I'm realizing
it's not my place to be the complainer, or advice seeker
But its to be there for people
and listen...

That's the difference-
 for the past three months
I've needed help, advice, comfort
and appeared less to people who didn't know me
and I ruined a lot of chances
time to win those back...
time to get back
its time to be that girl that once people fell in love with

no more sorrow
no more hate
I'm going to be that girl who stays after class to talk to the teacher
to smile in the hallway
to ask people how they are
to sing loud as i want
to love once again
... I'm back
as something new ... that was once there

snow days of sorrow

Well I just had two snow days in a row!
And I should have been studying for midterms...
but of course not

I divided my day into quarters

Quarter 1: Go creep on peoples lives on their computer and pray for him to text me
Quarter 2: Lay in bed feeling sorry for myself
Quarter 3: Get rid of my new comforter (wait till you hear the pathetic reason)
Quarter 4 : Listen to Taylor Swift's new CD Speak Now

Well Guess why i had to throw out my new comforter.... Its only two months old and a beautiful shade of pink - it was because it had tear puddles of black from my eyeliner and mascara running when I cried. wow.

but why? why tears? as if they will drain the sadness from me and leave my body. no. this is the first time in my life i've ever felt something so powerful, something with this long term affect. and although I don't like the sadness- I like knowing what it feels like, what it feels like to feel

Then I listened to Taylor Swift, I believe she's the easiest person in the world to relate to especially in this new album! All I could do was hit the replay button for Last Kiss, then Haunted, Then Speak Now....... why is it that I could relate to everyone and it touched me in a different way each time... every song meant something!!!

But I don't only relate with her through her songs, but for the purpose of the entire album. She's writting her songs for words she needed to say
and I'm writting my blog for the very same reason...

i am a snowflake

I went outside
not all bundled up but i wore a jacket
and plopped down
to feel the coldness

i can relate to snow
the coldness of it
how it falls randomly
but it can be predicted

how once it falls
it keeps on falling and once it lands
some one picks it up
and shovels it off to the side

falling
spinning out of control
not knowing where to land
i am a snowflake
and right now
its a Storm

your worlds crashing

I feel bad
this is a different feeling of badness though
because i don't feel bad for myself
i feel bad for you

your worlds crashing
and the world is heavier than you can handle
so whose going to help you keep up the walls
for a while it was me im assuming
but i wont give myself the credit

but now who is it
you think its her
but its not
but lets pretend it is
who's stronger??

You finally developed to the new world
your new world
while everything was going on
and i was slowly dwindling down to nothing
you were growing

so a few days ago i accepted it
and finally moved on after loving you for about
109 days
and after you making me smile
atleast a thousand times
i accepted it and moved on

so if you don't care about me any more
why did you make it clear to me, him, and all of my friends
that it bothers you
that I could possibly move on from loving you
to someone else

but when i did this
it struck you hard
didn't it
and maybe everything doesn't happen for a reason in your world
but for me it does
and maybe the reason this is happening
is for you to realize
what every one else does...

that I was the one who made the mistake
but you are the one who didn't fight to fix it
so never again can you say
"I don't give up easily"

but i feel bad for you
because i know how it feels
to want to change something so bad
but are unable to
because its not your place to

so you proved you cared
and you realize you still care
now what are you going to do about it?

you claim to have made a decision
and that you chose her
but lets not lie to ourselves, shall we?

it was a glance

well its all gone now
what had so quickly taken place - quickly left
and i didn't believe it until now
i got a sneak peak at love

so i was on his tail -
i was keeping him from his new 'love'
and i learned my lesson
not to allow myself to fall in love so quickly unless
i know they are going to stay
maybe he'll learn a lesson too...

but i'm just saying
don't be shocked when I move on
because nothing is stopping me from going out with any of your
best friends
ok now that this is understood
i feel better ;)

Miss

but i don't honestly care what he's thinking right now
as long as he knows
KNOWS not thinks that I really do love him

what i know is that i don't only just miss him!
i miss that happy feeling
the feeling knowing he was there for you
that little explosion that happened when our eyes met

i really miss that hug
the REAL hug
i haven't had one of those in forever
it was some thing great and perfect

i miss having that competition with him
of seeing who could stay up the latest
I ALWAYS LOST
but he knew I was going to lose everytime anyway
and i miss that text saying
"you fell asleep like always haha good night I love you"

and then I'd wake up some time around 4:00 am
and read it and smile and try to fall back asleep
but then I always got excited because in three hours I was going to see him
... and then I'd always be tired the next day because i didn't go back to sleep
and since I was tired i always lost the competition!!!

He was always the first one to make me smile everyday
because he'd text me "Good morning angel <3"
and every time I read it I was happy
and although he did it everyday... I never
expected it.

I miss him waiting for me at the end of the day...
now I NEVER see him before I leave
and everyday I wait 3 minutes for him in our meeting spot.
and he has never shown up, I'd wait longer
but I'd miss my bus

I miss who I was
I really do
I was a really happy person
having people ask me why i was so happy
or why I had a huge smile on my face
now
they are asking
What's wrong?
or 'hows your situation"
because there is no hiding it.
but I'm 3% happy now compared to the 100% i was
1% - he is my friend
1% - some people still care
1% - he's happy with out me and he's happy with this other girl
(... when you're in love that person's happiness is essential to your own even if their happiness is making you 97% less happier)

Last Chance

I'm so selfish
really, I've been told.
Maybe in this case selfish is a good thing

but apparently I'm always
complaining about not something
when i do have it?

You tell me you love me
do you  know what an obligation that is?
I mean to say it back, well I'm not going to say it to anyone but him...

But i love one person
that's taken
and he's brave, he's strange, and confusing
and he's hurt me so many times

but i was never unhappy with him
its right now that i'm unhappy with him
RIGHT NOW!
and guess why
its because I'm not with him

so all I ask is that we have one last dance
one last kiss
so give me that one last chance to take it all back
and if  i mess it up...
this one last chance
I won't live