Thursday, January 6, 2011

Miss

but i don't honestly care what he's thinking right now
as long as he knows
KNOWS not thinks that I really do love him

what i know is that i don't only just miss him!
i miss that happy feeling
the feeling knowing he was there for you
that little explosion that happened when our eyes met

i really miss that hug
the REAL hug
i haven't had one of those in forever
it was some thing great and perfect

i miss having that competition with him
of seeing who could stay up the latest
I ALWAYS LOST
but he knew I was going to lose everytime anyway
and i miss that text saying
"you fell asleep like always haha good night I love you"

and then I'd wake up some time around 4:00 am
and read it and smile and try to fall back asleep
but then I always got excited because in three hours I was going to see him
... and then I'd always be tired the next day because i didn't go back to sleep
and since I was tired i always lost the competition!!!

He was always the first one to make me smile everyday
because he'd text me "Good morning angel <3"
and every time I read it I was happy
and although he did it everyday... I never
expected it.

I miss him waiting for me at the end of the day...
now I NEVER see him before I leave
and everyday I wait 3 minutes for him in our meeting spot.
and he has never shown up, I'd wait longer
but I'd miss my bus

I miss who I was
I really do
I was a really happy person
having people ask me why i was so happy
or why I had a huge smile on my face
now
they are asking
What's wrong?
or 'hows your situation"
because there is no hiding it.
but I'm 3% happy now compared to the 100% i was
1% - he is my friend
1% - some people still care
1% - he's happy with out me and he's happy with this other girl
(... when you're in love that person's happiness is essential to your own even if their happiness is making you 97% less happier)

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