Something New
He made me feel a lot
obviously
never knew what it felt to feel so much until i met him...
i always vent to him and
seem to always appear sad over the phone
or over texting, or somehow ready to give up on life
and I always know he's going to still be there for me
(because honestly, he's that great as a person)
but honestly why do i burden him with this
i mean, he is the only one who cares
but he doesn't need to listen to this -
i don't want to deal with it and its me...
why would he want to hear it?
But I kind of want him to be like SHUT UP
I DON'T WANT TO HERE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS
but nah. he's to great to do that...
But, still I'm not going to bring people into my sad time era right now
I'm just going to stay in it until some one who cares enough pulls me back out
I'm not going to 'reach out' for some one to help anymore
(some people build up walls not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to knock them down)
Today I felt real again
appreciated
i realized how much people really do confide in me
even with me barely knowing them
a girl I just started talking to a week ago
will vent out to me her deepest secrets
and a boy will ask me for advice
and a girl I haven't talked to in about two years
will approach me and start off where we last left off
so
I'm realizing
it's not my place to be the complainer, or advice seeker
But its to be there for people
and listen...
That's the difference-
for the past three months
I've needed help, advice, comfort
and appeared less to people who didn't know me
and I ruined a lot of chances
time to win those back...
time to get back
its time to be that girl that once people fell in love with
no more sorrow
no more hate
I'm going to be that girl who stays after class to talk to the teacher
to smile in the hallway
to ask people how they are
to sing loud as i want
to love once again
... I'm back
as something new ... that was once there
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